STEPH'S HEART TALK
What was your First Date like??
Take a little time to think it through.
A three-hour date with a movie that lasts two and a half-hours is not a good way to get acquainted.
Then again, you don't want to be stuck staring at each other without a topic of conversation.
A daytime meeting takes the heat off.
Lunch or coffee is a good start
There Should Plenty of topics for discussion without having to deal with issues like: "What happened to your last relationship?"
And you can avoid the usual casual chit-chat like:
My Ex Got Married
I Met my Ex in the bus
bla bla bla
· Clothing is not optional.
Wear clothes that make you feel good.
New clothes always help - but if not new, be sure they're clean, pressed, and fit well - or if that's not your style - be sure they fit whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable and still look presentable.
· Help the Other Person Feel Comfortable
If you have a romantic interest in your date (you want to be more than 'just friends,') first check out your basic body language and theirs to be sure you're sending the right message - and the other person is responding in kind.
Next, think through your conversation. Don't just talk about school, work, sports or common topics you might discuss in a standard social situation although these can be good parts of the overall conversation if you share similar interests.
Find something nice about your date and compliment her or him.
But mean it. Don't just say, "Nice shoes, Steph."
"Swell belt, Ralph."
Find something nice. If it's painfully difficult to come up with something that you sincerely like about the person, you shouldn't be out with them in the first place.
· Manners and/or Kindness
Thank the other person for the date - always, without exception.
Good manners are still in style. Well, not necessarily good manners - but common sense. Human kindness. That sort of thing is always in style.
Focus on the Other Person - pay attention to your date.
No wandering eyes. No preoccupation with old relationships, work, bank robberies.
Listen actively to what your date says.
Don't interrupt. While your date is talking, don't spend time thinking about what you're going to say when it's your turn.
· Remain Calm and Interested
Instead of just worrying about the outcome of your date and the impression you're making on the other person, remember that your overall goal really is to find out more about each other and exchange valuable information that will help both of you decide if you want to pursue a relationship.
Remind yourself that you are not trying to simply impress the other person or convince them to like you, you really do want to find out about your date and see if you might truly be compatible.
· Attitudes and Habits
Be positive and definitely don't complain on a first date.
Be cautious about alcohol - if you drink heavily, you're not going to be at your best.
If your date gets swacked on your first date, it's not necessarily due to nervousness.
He or she is likely to be a heavy-drinker, at best, and could end up drooling on your new, pressed clothes as you shovel him or her into a cab.
Be yourself while out on a date. Do not try to be something you are not or put on airs. To thine own self, be true. Anything less is unacceptable.
Be polite to as many people as you can and open to conversation. Talk about yourself and ask questions about your date as well.
Do not talk about any ex-boyfriends or girlfriends while out on a date with someone new. This is a definite no-no for a first date. It will only display you as being mean and unforgiving. Live and let live.
Show your interest in your date by asking them questions about him or her personally. Just refrain from making the whole thing sound like an interview.
Be sure to relay your feelings about the date to him or her and say that you appreciate the fact that he or she has taken the time to be with you. My final and very important advice to you is that you must remember to enjoy yourself when going out on a first date.
ENJOY YOUR DATE!!!!!!!