Still On The Matter!!!! Celebrating The Plus Sized....Adaora Ukoh's Birthday Photos

The birthday bash held last Friday at Slick bar in VGC. More photos when you continue...

  

IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP OUT OF BALANCE?

Steph's Heart Talk:

Have you ever been or are you in a relationship where you always felt a little like you were on pins or needles?? Everything always felt a little on edge??

Then discover what the things are that make you feel that way and reasons why you still holding up in that relationship??

Trust me you, deserve to be treasure, cherished, loved and adored by the man you are with. You above all deserve to feel safe, secure and accepted just for who you are …

I will let you in on the “IMPORTANCE OF SECURITY IN A RELATIONSHP”

Alwayz mk ur relationship work WIN - WIN All the Way

In the course of a romantic relationship, trust and sense of security plays a major role in determining the direction of the relationship. Without the sense of security, a romantic relationship will fall apart as soon as it started.

Love, acceptance, respect, to be desired, security, passion, are all things a woman may want in her relationship.  As a matter of fact these are basics that probably everyone wants.

Emotional security is one aspect that women and men want in Relationships 

When a woman can communicate honestly, be herself, and feel emotionally safe with her man then things are in order. It is emotional safety that I want to address. It is the one that creates a great deal of confusion.

Different people may have different definition or feeling of trusts in a relationship and therefore it is important for a couple to agree on a certain ground in this matter. While sense of security or trust may take time to form but it will be always easier if we know how to deal with it. Below are 5 areas you can work on to increase the sense of security in your relationship.

        1)  Safe communication. 

 The first step to security in relationship is to build healthy and save communication. Both you and your partners must feel safe to tell each other what you feel and think in your relationship. You must also be able to listen to, understand and affirm with your partner’s feeling and vice-versa. This means that you and your partner must learn how to identify, label and communicate your feelings effectively across to each other. 

2) Refrain from Pre-Judgement
  
In the course of your relationship, there will be times when you do not understand your partner, why he/she acted the way they did and/or why he/she feel certain way that you cannot comprehend. It is important that you stay calm as such feeling is completely normal in a relationship. However when such things happens, you must refrain yourself from pre-judging the event by calling your partner crazy, stupid and etc. This will indirectly break the sense of security that your partner has for you. Instead support their temporary behavior by affirming it and encourage them to let it out on you and at the same time assuring them that it is safe to do so.

3) Room for partner to express feeling 

        

In addition to the above, you must also provide the room for your partner to express their feeling freely and safely regardless the situation. Regardless whether, your partner is happy, sad, excited and etc, you must allow them to express it even though you are not feeling the same. Therefore it is important to learn that you cannot forbid, dictate nor criticize your partner’s feeling at any time when your feeling is not in tune with theirs. 

4) Understanding your partner

 Understanding your partner is the best way to improve the sense of security in your relationship. In other word, we must always understand what is our partner’s feeling or view on the subject. Every people have different expectation on sense of security when it comes to relationship due to past experience and therefore it is important for you to realize this fact. In order to have mutual and better understanding on sense of security, you must discuss it with your partner with open heart. Perhaps, the best way to be trusted is to be truthful to yourself and as well as your partner. 

5) Support each other emotionally

Finally, the most important security factor in a relationship is the ability of the couple in providing emotional support to each other. Learn to read or identifying your partner’s emotional level at any given point dat's the first step to emotional support. The next step is learning to give the appropriate emotional support the moment you detect any emotional changes in your partner. The ability to detect and support your partner’s emotion will make a big difference in your relationship especially when it comes to trust.
  
The above five steps will help you to improve the sense of security in your relationship. They may look difficult to be practiced but with sheer determination and patience, you can do it with ease as it will becomes easier and easier when you start to see improvement in your relationship. 

Alwaz Surprise that Special some1 in your life.

Healthy Living:Adjust Your LiveStyle Today

LifeStyle:


Better health makes Life more Enjoyable. Most people in their youth feel healthy (almost immortal) and are active and energetic and can become preoccupied or distracted from the importance of learning healthy living tips for a healthy lifestyle and often end up developing habits which are counterproductive in the long term. It's not until later in life that the consequences of such activities become apparent.


 Living a physically and mentally well-balanced existence is the ideal way to live a healthy life style. This is, of course, easier said than done, and there are a great many other things involved. The way you think, what you eat, where you work, where you live, what you do, what your financial situation is, who you know, and so on. You need a certain amount of self-discipline and self-motivation to maintain a sensible daily rhythm. 


Even me, am still learning how to stick to all these rules...yet they help us alot!!! ATLEAST i now drink alot of water, try not to think so much, balance my diet well also, sleep and relax alot...
You need to discover what works for you and what doesn"t.


Everything should be done in moderation – eating, working, resting, playing, maintaining hobbies, socializing, and so on.
Enjoy a pint of water first thing in the morning.
We lose a lot of oxygen through the night and to rejuvenate our cells, we need to supply them with water and oxygen. 
 Drink a glass of water and within a week you’ll begin to feel less tired. I like the taste of water,


Drink plenty of water. Avoid drinking soft drinks and other drinks loaded with sugar.



Avoid going to junk food shops with your work mates.
Junk food is full of “empty calories” that do nothing for your body but put on extra unneeded and unhealthy fat.



Always Exercise on the go.
If you work in an office, get up every 30 minutes and go for a walk. Get your blood flowing and your muscles moving.
Try to exercise at least one hour a day, at least five days a week. Exercising includes all of the following activities: walking, running, cycling, skipping, swimming, skating, dancing, aerobics, and any other sport activity.





 Drink herbal teas/Green Tea.
When at work or home, many people love to get a cup of tea or coffee. Decide that you’ll be more healthy and get a warm cup of herbal tea. 

Take alot of Fruits.

 is a great way to strengthen your immune system, fight disease, and boost your overall body health. Fruits are loaded with most of the essential antioxidants (Vitamins A, C, E and Lycopene) your body can not produce on its own. Antioxidant nutrients help your body prevent disease, fight illness, and stave off the signs of aging.

Get Enough Rest/Sleep.

most people don't realize how much sleep they need and why it is so important.

When your body is sleep deficient, it goes into a state of stress. The body's functions are put on high alert which causes an increase in blood pressure and a production of stress hormones. Higher blood pressure increases your risk for heart attacks and strokes. The stress hormones also, unfortunately, make it harder for you to sleep. 

Reduce Stress/Think Less.

Life is stressful. Because of the high level of stress in modern society, relaxation is very important  

Relaxing is not only good for the body, but idealistic for overall health. You can emotionally heal with one good night of relaxation, sometimes. Your body also heals quicker when you relax. Take a nap, sing a song, count some sheep, just chill out!

Taking time out to relax is healthy. A body needs it. Constant stress isn't always just a temporary strain. It can cause health problems that can certainly lead to death. 

What I am getting at is it is just good for your health in general. Make sure you relax a little in your life. You will see if you relax, your personality and ego may even boost. Take it easy here and there. Life isn't all sour lemons.

 

Sometimes it can feel as though eating a healthy diet, getting enough exercise and finding the time to find yourself is impossible. But learning to live a healthier lifestyle is easy when you change one small thing at a time.

Choosing the Right Evening Dress or Wedding Gown: Loving Yourself as a Plus Sized Woman

First off, the sizing on wedding gowns is ridiculous to begin with, so you can actually get a good sense of how you’d look headed down the aisle.


Every bride-to-be can relate to the pressure to look gorgeous (and slim) on her big day.


If you're a plus size woman looking for the perfect evening gown, you may find yourself feeling a bit overwhelmed. In the past, it has been challenging for plus size women to find attractive or affordable evening gowns. The good news is designers are finally creating beautiful, feminine and sexy gowns for plus size women of all ages and sizes.

 In the bridal world, for the most part, a plus size bride is invisible, BUH PROOVE THEM WRONG....always look smart especially wen going on an evening gown or choosing ur perfect wedding dress

Regardless of what you are looking for, perfect plus size evening gowns are available to fit your needs. Take time to find something you love and that fits you well and you'll feel like Queen of the Arena...

Add a little glamour to your wardrobe get it right with your fashion sense, Flaunt it if you gat it.......BBB....BIG, BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL

Most of us have daydreamed about walking down the aisle in our perfect wedding dress
that can still happen.........u re big. it doesnt stop anything.....



Plus size dresses are no longer boring. They can be sexy!

Some general tips for buying a plus sized dress:

• Flaunt what you've got, hide what you don't;
• The main thing to consider for a plus size cocktail dress is the fit of the dress itself;
• Styles that work best are darker hues such as black, brown, grey, or any other neutral, solid color;
• Accessories: keep jewelry options to regular sized. Keeping it too small or too big and bold will give an appearance of a larger body which is not attractive;
• Understanding of their body's shape and size;
• Do Not compromise being comfortable for anything else;
• Too much puffs and pleats are better avoided.

Octavia Spencer at it as always.....lovely dress....brings outher full figure....i like

you can still wow every1 on your wedding  day, you can still look so attractive on that big day.....take a look at this sexy busty bride...full of smiles....ah!!!!!

Octavia Spencer always knows how to do her thing, she alwayz knows what fits her figure all the time, she always dresses to say...Hello!!! and PHAT AND SEXY ans so?????



you can be fat, busty and still look trendy in whatever you wear, all it takes is the rught dress, hair and make up.

Jennifer Hudson...ofcourse when she was still fat.....but yea!!!!! she did rocck!!!!

What Men Really Want , Women Should Understand!!!!

Steph's Heart Talk:

How’s your love life with the guys? If you have questions and you’re not sure who to ask, talk to a mentor ...me!!!!!!! A MENTOR hehehehehehehe

Theres obviously a big contrast between what each sex thinks the opposite sex wants from them, and what the opposite sex really does want.

What women think men want from them causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic feeling or partnership. What men think women want from them causes them much of the same feelings and frustration, digust and anger towards other innocent women

 

Discover what men said they want from women as contrasted with what women think men want. You’ll also find tips for women to give men what they want, attract a great man, and create a wonderful relationship.

1 .Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity.

Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.

A tip for women
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.

2. Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests without misusing the opportunity given to them in doing so. in other words choose your friends and interest wisely.
On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.

Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed make his feel too important, use them, or  turn him off and possibly make him run away.

A tip for women
Men want what women want — a whole partner. 

3. Men want a manipulation-free relationship.

Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals, go through their phones, eavesdrop on their conversation. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

A tip for women
Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.

4. Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.

Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

Women think men only want to have a good time, have SEX. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

A tip for women
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly without it escalating or affecting what you have been able to build so far . To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.

Ladies are in Distress, Where re the Good Guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STEPH'S HEART TALK:


They now say  “Ladies no longer want love and romance. All they want are material things. Money! Money!! Money!!! what the do you guys want? 

Make it easier for the ladies and break it down......yea!!!! we kinda know they want the good girl, that can cook, clean, respectful, knows how to treat her man...BLAH BLAH BLAH ....and yet!!!!!! are you saying there are none of those girls out there any more?? or what do you do with them when u have them.....


Ofcourse they become the object of play and discussion amongst you guys...before you know it she out then the next one comes ....THE WORSE ONE.
i read this somewhere:read below


"The other day, I took one babe out for a nice time. Immediately we got on the bed, she said she wanted to rent an accommodation and needed N500,000. My eager manhood suddenly dropped. It fell asleep! Just look at me, where would I get such an amount? And that was the first time we would be going to bed together" they titled it "where re the good girls"

why not? that was the first time and you took her to a room, for a nice time .A ROOM..... of which after that day, that might be the end to that "nice time" what did you expect her to say?....**Thumbs up girl***


A woman doesn't need  a guy who cant take care of her, " TAKING CARE OF"
doesn't ball down majorly to "material things" of which that is included, but there's more to the needs of a woman than you guys see.....


What does a woman want? this question has kept men on the alert for centuries....lol, as they have alwayz tried to find a ket to their women's hearts, thouggh, even a woman doesnt know a complete answer to this question, yes women are complicated creatures in contrast to men who seem to be more passive and simple.


you need to understand the needs of a woman...break down her complexity, make her feel safe with you, do not take advantage of her self securitiy entrusted in your hands....then you can break the walls and guards of any woman....

Major needs of a woman are SECURITY AND TRUST

then a woman needs you to be succesful, you can worth $700mil -  if you have no goals, no project, if you arenot accomplishing anything new, you, my guy you are not yet succesful, your woman will not get tired of spending your money but she will get tired of you


Ofcourse its not al about you money, yet WISDOM is needed.....
treat your woman right and you will have no need to ever panic.....do not make her feel like she's sitted on needles all the time...WARM UP TO YOU WOMAN.

MEN: Take responsibility,Show leadership,Make decisions,Be strong,Be manly!!!!!


A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.