Monday, 16 April 2012

What Are The Issues With Trust ? Are You Having Trust Issues?


Everyone knows that a relationship needs solid trust in order to really thrive. It’s no secret that the best relationships are the ones built on strong trust, love, and communication.
So, lets try to tackle the issue of trust in relationships

If you or your partner fit these situations, there could be some trust issues in your relationship.

* You are always checking your partners emails and cell phone history and wanting to know who they are communicating with.
*You are overly jealousy sometimes to the point where it gets out of hand. Tantrums, bad arguments, and even violence may occur as a result.
* You play detective and want to know everything about what your partner is doing, where they are at, who they are with, and the whole nine yards.
* You doubt your partner and don’t really believe in them. You second guess your partner actions and feel that something is suspicious about them.
  • Being Cheated On In The Past
  • Having a Low Self Esteem and Feeling Insecure
  • Loss of Trust In the Current Relationship
No matter what the cause, it is very important to identify it and address it because it is vital when trying build or rebuild trust.


Before you actually work on building trust in your relationship, you need to talk about your trust issues and find out the answers to some questions. First of all, you need to know who in the relationship has the trust issues. It may just be them or it could be you. It may be both.

Ask yourself if you can be trusted.  Ask yourself do you really trust your partner. Ask your partner if they trust you. Ask your partner if they think they are trustworthy themselves. Make sure you and your partner’s answers are truthful and that you really get everything out on the table about trust.

  • Be Honest:  You should also try to avoid even the smallest lies because your partner may catch you lying and wonder what other stuff you may be lying about which brings about the trust issues.
  • Keep Your Promises It’s better to not make a promise than to make one and then break one. If you end up breaking a promise, explain why as soon as possible and make sure they understand the reason behind this broken promise.
  • Say What You Truly Mean: Always say things the way they are and mean it, sooner or later your partner will learn to love you just the way you are.
  • Don’t Keep Secrets: Hiding things from your partner is never a good idea in my opinion. It is often troublesome when you keep secrets and even more troublesome dealing with the consquences of keeping them once they are exposed.
  • Set Some Boundaries: You and your partner should discuss what behavior is acceptable and what is not and you both should acknowledge them and make sure not to cross those boundaries. It really does help with the trust issues.
  • Be Predictable: Even though you might want to throw in a few surprises for your partner or try to change things to spice up the relationship, if you are having trust issues, you would want to be predictable rather than them not knowing what to expect from you. If things do start to get unpredictable, make sure you let your partner know about your changes and explain to them the reasons behind them.
  • Establish Open Communication: Communication will always be important in relationships. Good, open communication helps in so many different areas and improves trust and your overall relationship.
  • Believe in Your Partner & Their Capabilities: If you don’t believe in your partner or their capabilities, this can cause trust issues in the relationship. You need to be able to believe in them and what they are capable of doing and handling. If there is an area or issue that you are concerned about, make sure to discuss this with them and work through whatever issue or concern it may be.
  • Express your needs: When you tell your partner about your needs, wants, and desires, this will let them know what you want without them having to guess. It brings you both closer and establishes understanding and trust.
  • Be open: Not only do you need to show your true self to your partner but you need to be open with them and avoid putting a wall up. Your partner should feel like they really know you and that you are not holding yourself back from them.
  • Keep Their Secrets:Your partner may share some very private information with you or in other words, things that they might not want others outside the relationship to know. If they tell you something in confidence, make sure that you keep that information confidential.
  • Don’t go telling their secrets unless they give you permission. If they see that they can tell you anything and don’t have to worry about anyone else knowing that doesn’t supposed to, that will help towards building trust in the relationship.
  • Work on Yourself: Sometimes trust issues come about in relationships because one person had past experiences with trust issues which carries into the new relationship. If you have trust issues that stemmed from something that happened to you in the past, you need to deal with that in order to avoid trust issues in your new relationship. It may take time but as long as you try to work on it, let your partner know your situation, and actually allow your partner to gain your trust and vice versa, things can and will work out for the better.


* Let go of the past. Whatever that happened that caused the trust to be broken should be left in the past when you decide to try to rebuild the trust and make things work again. This may be hard to do but it is necessary in order to move forward.
* Make the decision to be forgiven or to forgive.
* Set some goals for getting your relationship on the right path.
* The person who got their trust broken needs to share that pain. The other partner needs to acknowledge the pain caused by their actions.
* Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
* Be prepared to honestly answer any questions that may come about in regards to the event that led to the broken trust.
* If you think you could use a third opinion, get some sort of counseling to help you both with the hard task of rebuilding trust.

No Matter What Just Try to Build Trust in your Homes, Marriages, Place Of Work, Relationships

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