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Thursday, 19 April 2012
Do We Really Have Friends??My Friends Abandoned Me After Olubayo’s Death – Fiancee
Steph's Heart Talk
Folashade Adeshina, fiancée of the late Super Eagles defender, Olubayo Adefemi, has passed through turbulent times one year after she lost Adefemi just before their marriage, writes ’TANA AIYEJINA
It was exactly one year (on Wednesday) since Olubayo Adefemi, a former Super Eagles defender, died in Greece in an auto crash while on his way to the airport to catch a flight to Nigeria to finalise details of his wedding to beautiful model, Shade Adeshina. The wedding had been scheduled for May 26, 2011.
Our correspondent remembers vividly the events that played out on that bright Monday, April 18, 2011. Folashade had gone to the market to buy foodstuff to prepare rice and stew for Adefemi, unknown to her that the player had died in a road accident.
But then she got the bad news through a telephone call from her pastor, Ola Akintomide, while in the kitchen cooking; alas it was one call which would eventually change her life. Adefemi was dead.
“Initially I thought it was a joke. I felt my pastor wanted to know if I really loved him,” Folashade told our correspondent at Oke-Aro, Ogun State, a day after Adefemi’s death.
However, 365 days later, the wounds left behind by the demise of the fallen player are still fresh in the memory of Folashade.
“It’s been hectic for me since Bayo (Adefemi) left me but what can I do? His death hurts me more now than when he just died,” she said.
“You know, it was like a movie to me then, but it’s now beginning to dawn on me. It’s turning to reality and it gets me angry with life the more because I won’t be able to see my Bayo again? I miss him these days and I can’t hold it.”
Besides, she’s also been made to pass through the rough side of life. Friends, who once swarmed around her, have fled from her, leaving her to her fate.
“I have faced a lot of challenges but I don’t want to mention names so that I don’t hurt anyone. There were many people who feigned regard for me then but today, from their words and actions her, you can see that I no longer mean anything to them anymore. I had so many friends then but where are they now?”
But she added that Olubayo’s family has given the necessary support. “We are very close especially Mama (Olubayo’s mother), Biodun (Olubayo’s elder brother) and Aunty Bukie (Olubayo’s sister) and I do visit them.”
For her initially, the fear of April 18 was the beginning of wisdom but she has found solace in the Lord.
“Then I always asked myself how would I face this dooms day? But this great loss has forced me to turn all my attention to Christ. And now I am enjoying the feeling of being in Christ.
“So now I see the day as a thanksgiving day because the Bible says ‘in everything give thanks to God.’ Everybody will die one day and death is not the greatest misfortune in life.”
So how did she celebrate the late footballer’s one year anniversary?
She says, “I planned to spend the day with the less privilege; take pictures and go to the graveside. Our plan was to inaugurate EshinOlubayo13, a local football club in his honour, but it has been postponed because we are not through yet with arrangements.
“I had a dream about setting up the club and I believe we can start from somewhere. My plan was also to host a local tournament for him and then use the team that wins to start the club. The competition would be known as the EshinOlubayo13 Cup. It will start with players under 16 years. I think it’s what Bayo wants; I saw the name of the club in a dream.”
Folashade added that she and Olubayo had planned to establish a family pet project also known as EshinOlubayo13 if they had married but she now hopes to start the charity work on her own.
She said, “The pet project had been our dream and it was he (Olubayo) who initiated the project. It was his plan that it would be our family project if we were eventually married. But now that he is late, I don’t want the project to die with him.
“It will be a charity organisation for the less-privilege youths and widows. It’s meant to empower, advice and provide basic needs for the targeted audience and teach them how to fish and prepare them for the world out there. Target areas are primary and secondary schools, old people’s homes and public hospitals.
“It’s not necessarily because of him but because I know this would put smiles on millions of less-privilege Nigerian faces. It will also serve as a calling to government and other bodies to emulate. And most importantly and above all, for God and for Bayo’s wish to be fulfilled despite his demise.”
Even though Olubayo is dead, for Foalshade, he lives on in her heart. The gifts he gave her rekindles the good days she spent with him. But the day she would never forget was when he proposed to her.
“There is this teddy bear and an engagement ring he gave me. There were also so many other gifts a guy would buy for his woman that he bought for me. But the most precious of all is the ring; it’s a diamond ring.
“I remembered the day he proposed to me; it was the best day of my life. He asked me to be careful with Area Boys (street urchins) so that they don’t cut off my hand along with the ring. He was like that, always teasing me.”
Folashade says she still communicates with the late footballer in her dreams. It’s weird but she insists it’s true.
She said, “I want people to know that the dead can get in touch with the living. Before you can achieve that, you have to open your heart and beg God to give you the chance. I did it and it worked for me.
“I see Bayo in my dreams and he gives me directions. He even showed me the beautiful and quiet place he is. It is a beautiful garden, just like the description of the Garden of Eden in the Bible.
“It might sound weird to people, but what am saying is true. Seeing him doesn’t mean death is knocking on my door as superstitious people are want to believe. I will not die but live to declare the glory of the Lord to the shame of the devil. I only asked God to give me the privilege to see him in my dreams, and He granted me my request.”
She admits that it would be difficult loving again but she says Olubayo has helped in reshaping her life even in death.
“Before I doubted if I could (love again) too but Bayo appeared to me in a dream and told me to move on with my life,” she said.
But will she ever meet a man as nice and caring as Olubayo? Your guess is as good as mine.